Giddy, Gratitude, and Gray-B!

GIDDY- describes the feeling I feel today, as I am 24 WEEKS!!!!! VIABILITY people!!! I would NOT want these girls to arrive now or anytime too soon for that matter but, we have made it to the 24 week mark which is HUGE.  This means that if they were to come now, they have a very good chance of survival outside of the womb with LOTS of medical intervention.  My hope is that I can make it at least another 6 weeks and then another 4.  Why not just say 10 weeks, well because in my head it sounds better me thinking 6 is what I have left, then a final 4 countdown! :) Taking it in stride! When we first learned that we were having Triplets NEVER in a million years did I think I would make it this far.  THANK YOU JESUS, for your provision each and every second of the way for me, and these girls. So here we are at 24 weeks.... 

GRATITUDE- describes the other other overwhelming feeling I have had recently.  This past weekend 11 AMAZING women hosted the most beautiful shower for us.  I am BLOWN away, in utter shock of the people around us who love us and have graciously given far more to us then I could have ever asked for.  I will be real honest here, when you plan for 1 child you should be financially prepared, we were prepared for 1 child.  When you learn you are having 3, and you are not sure how you are financially going to provide for their needs there is a shock factor involved and a lot of stress (just ask my husband).   Well we are still a little scared financially as we really don't know what this will cost us once they are here, but this weekend BLESSED us beyond belief! There are no words really to describe the gratitude and thanks that Tigh and I feel to each and everyone of you who have helped support us along the way.  And I am not just talking financially here, I am talking with your encouragement, steadfast love, and prayers.  ALL of it just blows us away and we are beyond thankful.  I have NO idea how I will EVER be able to pay if forward like all of you have done for us. All we can say is THANK YOU and hope that you truly truly know that we mean it with every ounce of our being.  Here are some pictures of the beautiful weekend celebrating these three baby girls... (there are more pics of the shower but I don't have them yet, I will post more when I get them.)

Beautiful food table

Gorgeous Fall Centerpieces

A fruit carriage with 3 orange babies!!!! ahahahah 

The "kid" hostesses 

The "adult" hostesses :) 

And save the best for last-- GRAY-B! Oh my little love is growing up so fast during this time.  He is just an absolute joy (on most occassions :)  He had a BIG week this week as he got a pillow in his crib.  He LOVES it and thinks it's a really big deal.  He has also been so patient as we try to get the "orphanage" put together-- that is right I called it an orphanage.... the girls room does not look like a nursery, it is more along the lines of "orphanage style."  Hopefully once more color is added it will make it a little more homey.  We talk a LOT about his "sissies" and he has been enjoying reading books about becoming a BIG brother, although we have to change all the words to make everything plural..."My sisters are coming home."  "I am going to have babies in the house..." you get the point......We have had some GORGEOUS weather so we have been trying to be outside as much as possible and for as long as I can sit in a hard chair before I need to lay back down.  And of course he and I continue to spend a lot of time cuddling, watching toons and just enjoying every little minute that we have together.  Here he is living the dream.......

Just chillin with mom. 

Getting some sunshine and playing in a rusty photo prop.

Loving his new pillow

Anything Could Happen...

I am 23 weeks this week, and at the Dr.  we learned the girls are measuring 1.5, 1.4 and 1.3lbs!!! The Dr. was very happy with that, and told us that he thinks we have a good chance at carrying them till at least 34 weeks.  Which excites me and scares me all at the same time. :) Continued prayers please for God to continue to grow them to his perfection! 

So, I needed a "Rally Song".... something that got my blood moving.  The past two weeks I have completely moved out of the "SHOCK--you're having triplets" phase to "BRING IT ON!!!"  I know I still have some time, but I am READY!!!!!!!!! Well mentally at least, we still need to get a lot of things in order. I am ready to meet these girls, I am ready for the late nights, screaming, and complete chaos that may ensue, because I know it's going to be the last time we have babies and I am going to 'try' to soak up every last single bit of it! 

Another momma of Trips randomly posted this song,as a song she liked and I listened to it.  Maybe it was because it came from someone who has been in the triplet momma shoes that it just makes me think of Triplets.... I don't really know... But I LOVED it and it has become my repeat 100x song.  

Here is my crazy interpretation of the song... I know this was not Ellie Goulding's intentions with this song, but what I have made of it... Some of the lyrics don't fit at all to our situation, (like "I don't need you," etc cause Lord knows I am going to need everyone :)   but for some reason when I hear it, it just reminds me of when we found out we were having these girls-- WOW  "ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN"   was literally one of the first thoughts in my head. I knew then that anything in our life could really happen, cause never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined this would happen to us.  

Then the lyrics go on to say: 

"Yet since we found out

Since we found out

That anything could happen

Anything could happen 

Anything could happen 

Anything could happen....."

This makes me think of this road that we are now on--- anything could happen from here on out with these girls.

This part is funny to me.. 

"Cover your eyes

So you don't know 

the secret....."

 hahaha well this just speaks for it's self... the secret to how we got spontaneous triplets...well ya know....go ahead and cover your eyes. 

"I've been trying to hide

We held our breath

To see our names are written"

This reminds me so much of how I felt after we found out.  I wanted to hide, we held our breath and then every time we went back to the dr.  triplets were still written next to my name on the file! 

  And finally my favorite part...... 

"I know it's gonna be

I know it's gonna be

I know it's gonna be

I know it's gonna be

I know it's gonna be 

I know it's gonna be

I know it's gonna be 

I know it's gonna be 

ALRIGHT!!!!!!"

It makes me excited and pumps me up! It's my new "Triplet Warrior Song." I wonder if they will let me blare it, in the operating room on the day of delivery?? 

Go ahead and give it a listen...... 

Stretching (literally and figuratively)

"Thank you God for giving me a life outside of my comfort zone. That is the life of your destiny for me and it is bigger than I could ever dream of."  

These are the words that I read on a Sunday morning, as I was crying in the house thinking about my current circumstances.  This was posted by another mom of triplets who has been a huge encouragement to me.  The words struck a chord so deep within me, right at the moment I read it because I had spent the whole morning thinking about just how out of my comfort zone these past few months have been. 

I am an introvert y'all.  My ideal day would be in my house on a fall day (ok early winter day in Texas) with the windows open, a favorite candle lit, music playing, and some sort of baking or craft project happening, while my son plays with his toys.  I don't need to talk to anyone, or be around anyone probably for weeks on end.  (That sounds kind of scary I know...but I think that is the truth).  There are the exceptions of going the few places a week that I really enjoy like playdates, church, storytime, etc.  But for the most part,  I can always seem to find something to do, to stay busy or entertained by myself in my comfy little home.  But that is not how my days look anymore, nor will they look like that in months/years to come.  I am being STRETCHED, and very far out of my comfort zone. I now live in a home that is not mine, I don't drive a car that I am used to, there are people coming in and out of the house almost daily to help me with my son, meals, and laundry.  My son is almost 2 so we are also in a crucial discipline stage that is on display for all to see.   My parenting is watched by many, which I am sure can be comical at times.  There is someone around 24/7 making sure I am not doing too much. My body is physically not able to do the things I am used to, and my new reality is walking from one room to the next gasping for breath, being dizzy or feeling like I may deliver a baby at any minute.  My life has literally changed drastically in the past 3 months, more so than I could EVER imagine. All of these things have put me in a state of uneasiness, because all of this is way out of my comfort zone.   

I have a control issue.  THERE I ADMITTED IT!!!!! I am a planner, I have thought many times over that I am in "control." (Insert laughing now...... )  People who are close to me know that I probably over use the saying "That is out of control" way too much, always in reference to things that don't pertain to me of course...... or does it??? ;) 

I am "Out of Control" but I am now THANKING GOD FOR THAT!!! After I had my pity party for myself yesterday, I sat here and talked to my husband about how far out of my comfort zone I am being stretched on a daily basis, spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc.  Our conclusion....THANK GOD! Many people struggle with many different things, mine being planning, control, etc.  I am thankful that God is literally shattering anything and everything I thought I had control of or took comfort in and "giving me a life outside of my comfort zone." Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean that I haven't done a little kicking and screaming along the way.

I am learning to really embrace what I have only "said" in times past...."home is wherever you make it."  I said those words, I didn't live it our believe it, cause I had my little house with my husband and son, and sure that was my home.  I now realize home is literally where we are and where Christ is with us.  I am learning that community is really opening your door to those around you to come, and see you vulnerable, and to be apart of your life's mess....dirty laundry, parenting, toys, you name it.  Not just a group that meets once a week and has small talk. I am so thankful for the deepening relationships that are taking place at this time, and probably wouldn't have if I wasn't walking this road right now. 

I think for years, I was living a life of "comfort" but it was really a picture of false perfection that I had painted.  There is something freeing to me that God has literally stripped that away from me, and is allowing me to be in a state of complete surrender and STRETCHING me so far out of my comfort zone, that I can't help but to sit here and marvel and thank him for teaching me these lessons.  I don't want to have gone a day longer thinking I could maintain my life myself, or that I was deserving of the "cheap" comforts I had.  Take the nursery for example, when we thought we were expecting "one" child, I had big dreams for a sweet decked out nursery.... you learn that you are having three and you go into complete survival, necessity, minimalistic mode.  What do I need to keep them comfortable and alive??? That is what will be in the nursery.  

When I look back on literally just a few short months ago before all this happened, my life kind of looked to me like a pretty "Pinterest" board (don't get me wrong I love Pinterest, and continue to pin things that are for the most part completely unrealistic), but there is no way I could have kept that up, I may have tried, but at the end of the day I am so thankful for God's divine intervention in turning my world upside down and allowing me to be a part of a story bigger than I could have EVER dreamed of! Filled with ways to grow me and STRETCH me into lessons I would have never allowed myself to be taught.  

And now for the physical STRETCHING taking place...WOW! I am close to 21 weeks and we went to the Dr. last week. We were beyond thankful for the news that the girls should be measuring around 10 oz, but all 3 are weighing in at 13oz each!!!! Y'all better watch out because this is going to be one BIG momma before it is all said and done! Here is our 20 week picture.....there is just overall a lot of STRETCHING going on these days! 

Be Prepared

I  am married to an Eagle Scout.  He has told me numerous times (as I make fun of him for some of his forethought decisions) the Boy Scout Motto that was instilled in him to "BE PREPARED!"  I have come to LOVE this trait about him, as we will be out and about somewhere and I need something that he has already thought of packing, etc.... He is sometimes :) one step ahead of me.  I think the Boy Scout Motto, and my husband have worn off on me a bit...

This past week we have made the decision to transfer doctors to a multiples specialist downtown in the Medical Center.  After much prayer and thought, we decided that this is the best choice for these girls and for me.  After meeting with this new Dr. who we really like and are so thankful for his expertise, we learned the I needed to have a little procedure done, in hopes of prolonging the time these girls spend in my womb. 

This morning was the procedure, I had to be put under so I was a little nervous thinking about that last night.  This has been the first thing so far since learning about the Triplets that has really made it feel even more REAL.  There are times where I do just stop and think, HOLY COW how the heck did we get here?!?!!  And this morning was definitely one of those moments! 

As Tigh and I were driving down to the hospital early this morning my mind was flooded with ALL sorts of thoughts and emotions of how we can "BE PREPARED" for these months ahead.  I have heard stories of bed rest for weeks, possibly months, babies in the NICU with feeding tubes, monitors, IV poles, surgery, etc.... I had a moment of all this running through my mind and thinking ok how can we prepare, especially since most of this will be taking place downtown now.  What can I do to get everything in order for my son, for our family?  What do you do when you KNOW the season ahead of you is going to be one filled with some hard places, and intense moments? As soon as I was thinking this, this simple over used verse popped into my head and quickly brought me peace.... 

 "GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD!"  Matthew 6:11

Sometimes all we can do is rest in TODAY, and know that he will give us exactly what we need to make it through this day.  And I am so thankful that is enough.  I can not always BE PREPARED by myself, but with HIM I can BE PREPARED for anything that will come our way. 

Our Dr. who we were previously seeing (who we absolutely love by the way), told me this week that I am a no longer a mother, no longer a wife or a daughter, for the time being I am a HUMAN INCUBATOR! So I am doing just that and enjoying these days with Gray, mostly laying down.   I have happily accepted the fact that he watches WAY too many Baby Einstein Videos in a day, but I LOVE laying next to him watching him smile and laugh.  We spend WAY too much time eating snacks and meals together ALL throughout the day, but I absolutely love that I get to be the one here with him chowing down. And finally I am no longer concerned with the state of the house....if pulling every toy out and scattering it all over the floor is entertainment for a short 20 minutes, then I am all for it. (Thanks Mom and Tigh for cleaning it all up at the end of the day:) Here are some pictures of us doing what we do best these days......

Drink our morning drinks together in bed! Yes I am wearing Christmas Pajama bottoms---It's just part of the Piccadilly Circus! 

Gray's toy room destruction at it's finest! Notice he is standing on a toy to reach new places! 

Breakfast in bed, with Tucker and Toons! 

So with all that being said, as my new job title of Human Incubator I will rest, I will continue to CHERISH every second Gray and I have laying around together, and I will continue to give thanks to our Maker who continues to provide and PREPARE me with exactly what I need to get through today! 

The Verdict Is In....

It's official-- 3 GIRLS are on their way to the Holmstrom House!! We would have been thrilled if it went either way boys or girls, but we are so excited for this new adventure and are just continuing to pray for 3 healthy little loves.  Looks like Gray & Tigh will be out numbered after all. ;) Now on to the nursery and adding a little pink to this place....and to start saving for 3 weddings.... 

Piccadilly "Pink" Circus and a Few Pics...

The last two weeks have been interesting and great practice for us to learn how to be better at accepting to “expect the unexpected!”

I’ll start with the move. We moved into my parents house about two weeks ago.  The first week was really rough on Gray, but he is doing much better now and I think becoming more adjusted to his new home.  Merging of our two families has been quite interesting.  We officially “ONLY” have 2 dogs, 2 horse, a cat and one child under this roof right now…..I had to stop and marvel at these numbers this past week as I stood in the kitchen looking at a glass pyrex container of green beans that fell out of the refrigerator and shattered on the tile floor when I opened the door, all while Gray was trying to “feed” the dogs, a.k.a throw handfuls of dog food across the floor, as this is all happening I look down because I feel something wet and notice the bottom of my skirt is floating in the dogs water bowl.  Y’all I had to stop and think for a moment…this little bit of chaos is with one child….what in the world is it going to look with 3 more?!?!?!?! I can’t help but laugh (ok maybe there is some crying when I think of it) but at that very moment in the kitchen laughter broke out between my mom and I!   For all of these little incidents and MANY more ahead….we have decided to call this new adventure, or our official home name “Piccadilly Circus!”  (Thanks Angie our British Blood for the help with the name) For those of you who are not familiar with what Piccadilly Circus is, it is a busy public square , where main roads intersect in the the heart of London.  When Tigh and I visited London, we fell in love with this spot, and the name of it…. That was about 3 years ago.  Little did we know, it would be a great name for our busy daily rhythm of life! So a plaque must be made soon to be placed outside the door, warning all who enter the Holmstrom House….”Welcome to Piccadilly Circus!”

So now for the “pink” part.  Two weeks ago we went in for our normal two week ultrasound and asked the technician if she could take a guess at the gender of the babes.  To make a long story short…after holding our breath and looking at each baby she concluded that ALL of them were BOYS!! She pointed and showed us that special little part that could mean nothing else beside boy! We were a little shocked, me especially because this pregnancy has been SOOO different than with Gray.  However after finding out they were all boys, I just thought this sickness was due to the fact that we are magnifying it times 3! Tigh and I were happy with this verdict, although we had hoped to maybe get 1 girl out of this deal just to experience raising both genders and the different bonds that are formed with each.  But with all that being said we were excited at the thought of our own little scout troop on the way.

This past Tuesday I went to go see a new Dr. a Maternal Fetal Specialist who I will continue to see every 2 weeks.   During the ultrasound, I asked the tech if he would take a guess at the genders, he said “absolutely not, if I see the gender and am positive of what it is, then I will tell you!” …. So the ultrasound begins and again to make a long story short after examining all 3 babies, he points out to me that all 3 are............. GIRLS!!!!!!  My heart kinda skips a beat yet again…(there has been a lot of that through this so far, again learning to accept how to expect the unexpected). After asking him about 5 times, “ARE YOU SURE” and him responding with “yes, and let’s let the dr confirm,” I sat there in complete skepticism.  The Dr. came in and after doing an extensive ultrasound, pointed out to me the three parts that looked totally different than what we saw last week, and confirmed we have 3 GIRLS in the oven!!!! 

I’m still not convinced.  After being told all boys, and coming to terms with what that may look or feel like for our family (a picture of me being VERY tired chasing 4 boys) to the opposite extreme of 3 girls (still a picture of me being very tired, but maybe they will play with baby dolls for moments at a time??) I am going to give it another 2 weeks until the next ultrasound to really allow myself to believe it, even though it has now been confirmed by 2 people! (that persister in me, just wants to really make sure)

Either way boy or girl, at the end of the day our heart is that these babies will be healthy.  The appointment with the specialist was a tough one as we had to discuss all the risks and complications that can happen to both the babies and myself… I left the appointment in complete surrender to our Maker.   Our hope and faith is in him alone and we know that he has a story written for each one of these babies, whether that means they come home with us, or go home with him.  Trying to prepare my heart for all avenues has been tough, but I continue to re-site the verse in my head that I clung to while Gray was in the NICU and we were unsure of the outcome of his health.  Col. 1:17 “And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” He has this story written for each of these little lives, and we will trust that it is just the way he wants it.

Below are a few my favorite ultrasound pics from the past couple of visits…. Please continue to pray with us for the health, development, and growth of these sweet little babies, we appreciate it more than words can say!

THIS IS MY FAVORITE!!! (now they are too big to all fit in one picture) :) 

Baby A- Boxing! 

Sweet Baby B's Face and Belly

Two little loves, living in close quarters... sharing a room! 

Home Sweet Home

I am currently sitting in my living room (eating a bowl of popcorn) for the last Saturday I will get to enjoy this little house.  Life in 3 weeks has changed DRASTICALLY!! We have processed through many different options and scenarios of how to accommodate our family doubling in less than 5 months from now...  After much thought, prayer, and debate we have decided to sell our sweet home.  

We are so incredibly thankful to my generous parents that have offered to accept our massive clan under their roof, until we pick up our new rhythm of having 4 kids under the age of 2!   We are thankful for this option for many reasons, we will have WAY more space both inside and out, we will be able to save some money (or use it all for diapers and formula), and one of the big decision makers was the fact that my mom has graciously offered to help with night time feedings which will make a WORLD of difference.  Tigh is going to need to be able to sleep through the night and continue to get up for work at 4:30am to catch the bus into Downtown.  This help she will give will be a LIFESAVER in the first few months of adjusting with our new little ones. 

Although we are so excited for this new adventure it is very bittersweet as this was Tigh and my first home together, and the home that we brought Grayson  to for the very first time.  I  remember the day we closed on it and I couldn't believe it was ours... the people who we bought it from were not even out of the driveway yet and I was already painting the walls.  We have such beautiful memories here together that we will never forget, and I am thankful for those.  

But as I sit here and reflect on our 3 years in this home,  I am reminded that "home" is not this physical building, but where Tigh and Gray are, and where ever we are together Christ is with us and that is "home." So with that truth I am able to find a peace wherever we may go.

On a less serious note, with all that being said it is still my hope that we don't end up like the nursery rhyme of "The Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe"..I'll leave you with the lyrics of that..... It may become my new reality.... ;) 

There was an old woman

Who lived in a shoe.

She had so many children 

She didn’t know what to do.

She gave them some broth

And a big slice of bread,

Kissed them all soundly

And sent them to bed.