Official Due Date...."Holding On To Our Britches"....Motherhood.

(Disclaimer-- It has taken me a while to finish this post--hence the way it begins below :) 

Yesterday January 29, was my "official" due date.  You know when you find out you're pregnant and you go to that fancy due date calculator and type your info in......well last April I did that and got Jan. 29 spit back at me.... Not knowing we were pregnant with triplets, we thought we would bring in one more child into this world at the end of January-- Well we all know things went down WAY different than that....

Before I proceed, let me warn you I am sleep deprived and therefore my grammar, sentence structure, etc may be all over the place.....don't hold my teacher self accountable please. :)

Where to begin---- We officially spent 34 days total in the NICU downtown between the 3 girls.  It was way different than our experience in the NICU up here in The Woodlands when Gray was born.  I can honestly say I have peaceful, heart warming memories of the NICU stay Gray had, however something with the NICU downtown never sat right with me.  We did however meet some AMAZING nurses who looked after our girls day and night, and I hope that those relationships will continue in the years to come as we still keep in touch.  There was just nothing really comfortable about the NICU the girls were in and when I think about it I get a sick feeling....maybe it was the fact that they were building a new floor above the NICU and my children had to wear ear muffs daily from the loud banging going on, and when I would leave I would see giant cranes and workers welding, and I would just have to say a prayer that each worker would do their job properly and that my sweet babies laying underneath them would be safe. Needless to say I literally could NOT be happier that we are out of there, and I hope and pray I never have to be in a NICU again.  Tigh reminds me that it saved their life and for that I am so grateful, but I am so thankful to be through that part.

Our little Miss. Maisy got to come home first after 30 days in the NICU....

Followed by Addie and Emory 4 days later.... 

THEN THE PARTY BEGAN!!!!!!!

The girls have done amazing keeping a schedule... they eat every 3 hours during the day and are doing 4 hour stretches at night. I literally will finish a feed and it feels like 10 minutes and it is time to do it all over again... Here is my prep work for the day time bottles, which happens all over around 6pm for the night time bottles.... 24 bottles in 24 hours---- 

Followed by the MOUNDS of burp cloths and laundry that come from the spit ups x3..... This is just a snap shot of burp cloths from about 3 feeds. This does not include the occasional 3 outfit changes per child from spit up! 

So about these girlies......They are happy, content babies! Each of them are still on monitors, that go off whenever they have an apnea or bradicardiac episode, which are happening less frequently and our next milestone will be to get rid of these stinking monitors! They are a security blanket for when I am am in another room, I know they are breathing and alive, otherwise the monitor would be going off, but the company we have had to deal with is hellacious and we have had to have them come out numerous times in the middle of the night for the monitors not working properly! Emory had one episode, where she did turn blue from not breathing and for that I am so thankful for the monitor, so I can't curse them too much.  

Since being home, my mom and I did a little "photo shoot" with the girls, and man props to you newborn photographers...... these girls have NEVER been so active in their little life, when we wanted them to be sleepy and still! It was quite the sight to see my mom and I wrestle these children, along with sweating our brains out because we set the temp to about 120 degrees (not really but you get the point) until we all finally gave up and I along with the girls had to go to sleep..... :)  

We went on our first outing with all 3 girls to the dr.  I must say that I am not ready for the stares, questions and looks that will come with future outings (i have been told it's a regular occurance by other triplet mommas).  I have to remind myself the shock I felt when first finding out I was having triplets, and googling pictures of triplets like it was some specticale to see... Since having them, I think it's nothing but normal--- however just in the few short minutes we were in the dr. waiting room I came around the corner with the double stroller followed by my mom carrying the other car seat and there were gasps, stares, followed by "OH MY GOD TRIPLETS!" and if I had taken the time to stop and acknowledge that person's comment I know it would be followed by a million questions.  (And LORD knows "ain't nobody got time for that" right now!) It took everything in my sleep deprived low tolerance state to not mouth off...."YES TRIPLETS.....BIG DEAL....go about your own business, there is nothing to see here, we are just like you!" 

Our days are really around the clock changing, feeding, burping, me pumping and repeating.  Sounds fairly calm but through a 2 year old running around in there looking for entertainment and you get this.....

So for this very reason, I have a triplet momma friend whose advice to me was "Just hang on to your britches!" and that is exactly what we are doing..... just when I feel slightly on top of things, I do a  couple of feeds and it's time for bottle washing again to keep it all going....

I wake up, and I feel like it's time to go to bed again in 5 minutes, and I already look back at pictures from a few weeks ago and I can't believe how fast these girls are growing and changing! 

About time flying--- we celebrated my sweet Grayb's 2nd birthday with family the other weekend.  It was a simple beautiful celebration of the boy that made me a momma! He is so so much fun these days, and he LOVED being the center of attention at his party! 

Playing his new guitar :) 

Through these crazy fast paced days, I thankfully by the grace of God have wonderful helpers, while Tigh is gone at work.  I know I wouldn't be able to stay afloat if it weren't for my mom, Tigh's mom and a family friend who is Grayson's "Nana D" and my SAINT Diane (Aunt Diane). Without these 3 women doing laundry, helping with bottle washing and allowing me to take an occasional break, to either nap or shower I would have probably already withered away!   

Speaking of withering away, a friend of mine who is also in the thick of motherhood shared a quote with me from a book we are both reading.... "Motherhood is like a pitcher with a hole in the bottom: a constant drain on our energy, patience and tolerance. Our only hope to speak with kindness,  to lead with patience, and to not threaten our children with homicide is to ensure our spiritual reserves are not bone-dry." I love this, because it is so true.  Lately, I haven't had time to talk with God, be in the word or go to church...my prayers to him lately have been quick and usually while I'm taking a 2 minute shower and have a thought to myself..... "Father you have given me all these little people to love and care for, and this is good, but please forgive me for the lack of time that I am able to spend with you right now, but continue to show me your presence, continue to sustain me and allow me to be the mother you have called me to be, even when I am exhausted and my fuze is short." 

This morning as I was standing over the sink washing the mountain of night time bottles, I asked myself the question "In a world where some have so little, why have I been given so much?"I look around at a messy house filled with the belongings of the 6 people in our family along with my mom and dad, and I can't help but just stop and count my blessings.  My family is under one roof, I have 4 healthy children! FOUR!!!!!!  This whole motherhood thing is NOT fancy-- it can be so mundane..... changing poopy diapers, being covered in spit up, realizing its been 8 hours since you peed, etc.  But to me it is MORE than enough, and it has my heart and cup over flowing with thankfulness every single morning.  It is my calling, for God to use me to shape these little souls. It's not a BIG fancy thing that will be showcased for all to see somewhere, it can be so isolating especially in these early months of not being able to take the girls out, and not being able to have a lot of people come in.  But a friend of ours pointed out to me that if I were to never leave the house for the next 18 years, I will be sending out 4 disciples for the Lord hopefully at the end of that time, and that to me is a calling WAY higher than I could have planned or imagined for life, so I will continue to soak up every minute of this crazy thing called Motherhood!

  

INSTANT FAMILY--- Doubling Day, and Catchin Up Over the Last Two Weeks!

December 10, 2013 started out like our "normal" day of laying around "incubating" and feeling EXTRA large.  I had a dr. appointment at 3:30 and he told us to bring our bags again just in case.  For some reason that morning I decided to take some more belly pictures, and man am I glad I did...cause it was the last day for the belly...

Tigh went into work that day, and my dad drove me downtown.  Tigh and I were both prepared to spend a week in the hospital as our scheduled c-section was a week away.  My dad pulled up to the curb to drop me off and when I got out of the car and stood up, something was just different--- the REAL WADDLE started....It was beyond painful to move or walk.  We made it up to the dr. office and after going through the normal steps of our appointment we learned that my blood pressure was elevated, I was having contractions about 3 minutes apart (which was normal for the past week), and I had a horrible PUPPS rash (pregnancy related rash) that was spreading all over my body and could potentially be dangerous to the babies.  The dr. looked at us and said "You're ready.....What do you think about tonight?" I looked over at Tigh with the biggest, happiest, worried, excited, scared to death face and said "YES, let's do this!"  The dr. wanted to make sure things moved quickly because of all the factors that were in play and so he suggested we deliver at the hospital right next to his office to move things along and to make sure that we could actually deliver that night, versus going to the hospital we had originally registered at.  By this time it was 5 o'clock... They told us to head across the street and they would prep me and he would meet us over there.  As Tigh and I walked out of his office I am sure we both looked like deer in the headlights.... we just kept saying to each other, "Are you ready for this? No, are you ready for this?"

We immediately called our family to let them know the girls would be delivered that night, and Tigh and I walked into the hospital.  But within 45 minutes I was prepped and ready to go, and no family had enough time to make it to the hospital.  Tigh and I were actually thankful it played out the way it did because it allowed us some time to just sit quietly in the room for about 10 minutes before going into the OR....Tigh was able to capture a few pictures before the c-section... are you ready for it..... HERE IS THE FINAL BELLY PICTURE IN ALL IT'S GLORY!!!!! (I was ready y'all...That belly was REALLY starting to hurt, and I couldn't wait to see these girls!!!) I look at this picture and still can't believe it, it really does look like a beach ball.

I was wheeled into the delivery room and after some more prep, within 5 minutes the operating room was filled with 13-15 people racing around getting all things in order, and we began.  They explained to me that I would feel a LOT of pressure on my chest and it wouldn't last long.  They were right, there was a TON of pressure and then the sweetest relief, it felt like the weight of the world was being lifted off me and I could BREATHE!!!!!! It happened two more times as they pulled out the other two girls.  They immediately took them to the NICU and Tigh followed along, with them.  As I was getting closed up they brought the girls back in to see me.... I was BEYOND shocked!!!! They were swaddled, and not hooked up to any machines!!!!! I didn't think it was real-- I just kept asking the nurses, are they ok? are they breathing?  I have seen so many pictures of triplets being born and having to be immediately hooked up to oxygen and other machines, I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that these babies were in the room with me, and they were letting me hold them.

SO here you have it--- our first picture with all 3 girls! Welcome to our world....

Adelyn Mae- 4.12lbs. Born at 7:27 pm

Emory Rose- 4.8lbs. Born at 7:29 pm

Maisy Beth- 4.12lbs. Born at 7:30 pm 

As I sit here and write this blog it has been over TWO WEEKS since the girls were born.  We are beyond exhausted balancing being with Gray for half the day, and then beating it downtown to spend as much time with all 3 girls as possible.  Evenings and night time are filled with pumping and trying to catch 3 hours of sleep at a time.  Tigh and I both know this is temporary so we are just trying to push through.  We are in utter shock and amazement that this is our life and that we now have four kids.  I still don't think we both fully believe it. ha!

Over this past week, although my brain doesn't have much time for thinking, or if I do try to think I have a hard time concluding a complete thought-- hahahaha but I am just  BLOWN away with what God has done for our family.  We feel so beyond blessed, and there are just no words that we can formulate to express how full our hearts are and how thankful we are to have these four healthy children.  

These last two weeks feel like an ETERNITY not having the girls home, but it also feels like a complete blur to think that they are already 1/2 a month old!!!! Here are a few pictures to sum up what the last couple of weeks have looked like with them.  

This was BY FAR my most FAVORITE DAY YET with these girls! I got to spend the afternoon holding all 3.  To look down and see them all snuggled up on me and staring up at me was the most surreal moment of my life.  I can't believe God has given us these girls to share and enjoy life with.  

Here is Tigh, changing his first "Daughter Diaper" hahaha Gosh I love that man! He is SUCH an amazing Dad! 

When Gray came up to the hospital he LOVED investigating all the things in the room and pushing buttons.  We may have a little Dr. Holmstrom on our hands. 

Gray's Face says it all in this picture.  This was the day he got to see the girls out of their isolette beds for the first time.  I can't IMAGINE what was going through his mind as I said, "This is your sister, and this is your sister, and this is your sister...." 

Sweetest moment of Gray giving Adelyn her first BIG Brother kiss.  

And finally-- Our first family photo! All 6 of us on Christmas.  It was a hard day for me as I felt like I was getting sick and could only hold them for this quick picture and then needed to leave.  Today I am home resting hoping that this chest cold I have passes quickly so I can hold my baby's soon.  My heart is breaking thinking of them being down there without their mom today, but Tigh is with them and getting some good Daddy Daughter time in.  

Currently they are all in open cribs! They are taking most feeds from a bottle, but occasionally they still need to have some of their feeds administered through their feeding tubes if they are too tired to eat.  Adelyn keeps having some apnea and brady episodes-- it is where she will stop breathing and her heart rate decreases.  We have been told this is totally normal for their gestational age and she will grow out of it as she matures.  We are not sure exactly how long it will be before they are home, but we do know we are getting closer.  One of the nurses last night mentioned possibly a week away???  However, every time Adelyn has a Brady or Apnea it sets her back for 5 days. :(  So they may be coming home at separate times. Hoping and praying my little girl can stop having those soon! We are ready to have them ALL HOME, so the Picadilly Circus can REALLY begin!!! 

Many Blessings and Love to all our family and friends this holiday season-- from a very tired, but overly joyful Holmstrom Clan! 

Impromptu Hot Hospital Date Night

Last night Tigh and I got a date "night" for the first time in months--- an emergency visit to the hospital!!! I woke up yesterday morning at 4am and had contractions every 10 minutes for about 4 hours.  They weren't painful so I just tried to push it out of my head and continued to lay down.  The evening rolled around and they started back up again, but this time they were more intense and felt similar to when I was going into labor with Gray and they were about 5 minutes apart. I called the Dr. and they said go to the hospital to get evaluated immediately.  Tigh loaded up the car and we headed downtown.  By the time we got there my contractions were about 3 minutes apart, and I was glad we made the decision to go! They did some monitoring of the girls heart rates through the contractions (which took FOREVER for them to find their heartbeats because I was starving and so were the girls, so they would NOT stop moving,Baby B was especially difficult-- hopefully that's not any indication of personalities to come:) . They gave me a shot of Terbutaline to relax my uterus, and then they did a Fetal Fibronectrin Test, which help determines if preterm labor may take place in the near future-- great news it came back NEGATIVE!!!!! So thankful for that! The shot eventually helped to calm things down and we were later sent on our way.  

By this time it was 10:45 and we both hadn't eaten dinner and were starving! The only thing open was fast food which I haven't really eaten since college! haha off to Whataburger drive-thru we went with all the drunken college students! 

So there you have it.....our first evening out alone together in quite some time. We enjoyed a peaceful car ride home, and laughing about how this is all just part of the story! 

Hoping and praying we can hold out just 9 MORE DAYS, with no scares and NO HOSPITALS until we are ready to deliver!    

Cause Sometimes You Need Candy Canes and Crying..... And a Response to HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO IT?

Good days, bad days..... a little dose of my reality lately.  Feeling ready to conquer the remainder of this pregnancy to feeling so frustrated in my current state and beyond ready to get the show on the road! 

Yesterday was a GREAT day.... we went to the dr. with our hospital bags in tow, ready for him to say the word that we needed to be admitted.  But thankfully I was sent home for another week! I really am thankful for this, because that just gives these girls more time to develop.  Even though in my head I was prepared for things to start happening, and slightly excited about that possibility.  They are measuring 4.7lbs this week at 32 weeks! The dr. was very pleased, and so were we.  Here is my good day picture yesterday---- yet again in shock that God has seen us through this far!  

Today is a not so great day... just woke up feeling so stagnant, defeated, and super achy.   Gray has also really caught on to the fact that I can't do much for him, or catch him when he is being disobedient so some defiance has set in as well as wanting "Daddy" and my mom "Chachi" instead of me at all times.  It just breaks my heart! I know our relationship will be restored, but I also know that it will come with new challenges as I will also have 3 other little ones needing my attention as well.  So today as a family friend took Gray to play, I have resorted to laying in our bed shedding a few tears and indulging in some candy canes that a friend of mine's little daughter gave to us last night in a care package. Yes crying and eating candy canes you read that correctly.  Don't worry, no one needs to intervene just yet.... I'm a mess today, but thats ok I know some days are just going to be like that.  I'll snap out of it soon!  

On another note at the Dr. yesterday I got the question again of "Are you having twins?" (because of the size of my stomach) I usually respond with "No, triplets." (smile and try to walk away quickly). Yesterday we were sitting in the waiting room across from a woman so I couldn't walk away (DARN!) Her jaw dropped and she looked at me and said what most say...."HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT?"   Tigh was with me and he hasn't experienced this question as much as I have so it was funny to see his response and his willingness to have a conversation with this woman. So I let him take over and answer this one.  However this is about the 4,000X that question has come into play and I need to remind myself that in the beginning of finding out we were having triplets I asked myself that same question over and over.  I have since had time to process it and here is my conclusion to all who are wondering "HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO IT?".......  

We are just going to do it, (just like every other family out there who adds a 2nd or a 3rd or a 4th child, you do it and you make it work.)  We are going to embrace every moment that we can! We are not going to say that this is our last time ever having kids (cause Lord knows how this went down in "our planning" of only having one child, and he decided to give us 3 ....) but we are MOST CERTAINLY NOT PLANNING on having anymore kids! Therefore we will cherish these first few hectic months of what I'm sure will be complete and utter chaos and sleepless nights, knowing that they will flee quickly and we won't experience the infant stage in this way again. We are going to continue to do life and do it with our children in tow. (This may mean people don't want to be around us because we may have 4 screaming kids at once, and we are ok with that.) We will rely on God daily to be our strength and our provider for each of our needs... sometimes the finances behind this whole thing can be beyond scary and we really don't know how it will all add up, but we trust that he will take care of us.   It's not going to be easy or clean or enjoyable at all times, I understand that, but we will take it a day at a time sometimes an hour at a time if we need to, and we will do our very best to cherish every minute along the way, because these are the cards we have been handed and we couldn't feel more blessed to be responsible for these 4 children, and that we get the privilege to share life with each one of them! 

And ok let's be honest, during the kid's moments of intense screaming and crying sessions that I am sure will take place.....we may need some noise canceling headphones, and this momma will need a glass of wine at the end of those kinds of days. :) That is how we are going to do this..... 

This Is My Thanksgiving....

The Lord is my strength and my shield;

    in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;

my heart exults,

    and with my song I give THANKS to him. 

~Psalm 28:7

This is my Thanksgiving........ 

31 Weeks! When I found out I was having triplets I thought I literally was going to die during the pregnancy, or spend months in the hospital with my belly up to the ceiling. I am home, I am with my family, I have gotten to be with my son, and make cookies and lick the beaters together..

And occasionally the whole family even joins me on our bed for "bed rest!" 

I have watched people of our city be the hands and feet of Jesus as they have served us through this time, from moving us out of our home, to physically being here to help, to emotionally praying for us, collecting items we need, giving of their finances to help support the many costs we will have, donating hand me downs, sending messages of encouragement, and  leaving meals and care packages at our door. 

4.1, 4.1, and 4.2 Lbs....almost 12 1/2 pounds in there and somewhere between 45 to 50 inches of baby!  

This is my Thanksgiving..... 

Here is to another week... after contractions 10 minutes apart last night that eventually subsided with meds from the Dr. we were told to have our bags packed and ready to go! We are getting close! 3 weeks or less and these girls will make their debut! Still hoping and praying we can hang on at home for a few weeks longer!  

Oh yes, please don't be fooled by the picture above, there is still room in that belly for turkey, sweet potatoes, rolls, and pie! :) 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 

from the very GRATEFUL Holmstroms! 

30 Weeks, 30 Fingers & 30 Toes, Almost Over 3 1/2 Pounds Each--- That's a LOT of 3's

30 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!! My second goal! We made it!! When we first found out we were having Triplets our original Dr had said his goal would be to get me to 30 weeks! And here we are! So so thankful, but I can't help but allow my mind to begin to focus on our next goal of 34 weeks-- D-DAY!!!!!! December 17! My eyes are set on the finish line in hopes that I can keep these girls baking until then.  We went to the Dr. this past Monday and he was very happy with how big they are measuring. Baby A is 3.12, Baby B is 3.8 and Baby C is 3.9 lbs! We also saw MANY little fingers and feet on the ultrasound, which I just can't help but laugh when I think of 30 little fingers & 30 little toes in there :)  The Dr. said he thinks I can make it to Dec. 17, but wouldn't be surprised if the girls arrived sooner because of how big they are and because Baby A has dropped down onto my cervix and is putting a lot of added pressure.  

So with that being said, I have kind of hit a new "Survival Mode" these past few days.  I am tired and do not move around well. The energy that I have to exert just to get out of pj's somedays is astronomical (so somedays I don't)!  I am in  pain when trying to move or stand up, and so most of my time is spent laying down.  Night is the worst, and I am up for most of it, only to be exhausted by 6 am and finally ready to sleep.  Many people have asked to come by and visit and I hate that we have to say no, but at this point I barely have enough energy to spend any quality time with Tigh and Gray, and our primary focus is to get these girls as close to Dec. 17 as possible.  If we were to deliver early, our Dr. thinks they would need to be in the NICU at least 6 weeks and there is a much greater possibility of complications that we could run into.  So I don't want to risk it, and I really am listening to my body, and lately it is saying STOP EVERYTHING and DONT MOVE! 

The other night I was talking with my parents and Tigh, and it is so abundantly clear to us that through prayer and the help of all our family and friends we have made it this far.  My parents went from having a TON of room in their house to being shoved upstairs into a little corner, and I know they are enjoying this time we all have together, but I am sure they will be equally relieved when they get their home back.  I am so so grateful for all that they have sacrificed in order to help us get this far- cleaning, shopping, laundry, meals, taking care of Gray and our dog, at times waiting on me hand and foot....etc.  Its been a HUGE blessing and I know we wouldn't be this far with out them! THANK YOU MOM & DAD! And thanks to everyone for your continued prayers, love, and support! 

Here is the 30 week pic....I just keep thinking I can't get any bigger, and I then I do.  

Oh and yes- total weight gain so far ~50lbs! WOWZA! 

Cinnamon Life and Everything Nice....That's What These Little Girls Will Be Made Of

This past Monday I went to the Dr. fully prepared for him to tell me it is time for me to head into the hospital for the remainder of this pregnancy.  It's been getting tough... contractions, pressure, dizzyness, shortness of breath, and it feels like these babies are playing my rib bones like a harp....(it HURTS, and they are bruised).  Not to mention I REALLY don't feel like my stomach can stretch any further with out splitting open. (TOO much info, I am sorry).  But much to my surprise after an ultrasound and exam he concluded that we are still right on track, and the girls are roughly close to 3lbs each!! I was utterly blown away by God's faithfulness yet again!  The fact that I get to be home resting with my son by my side (well not really--running around the house is more like it), but at least I get to be HERE with him, is such a blessing!! I am so thankful the girls are doing well and continuing to grow!  The Dr. asked me what I have been eating to grow these "Texas" size babies as he is referring to them, and my response was "Cinnamon Life!"  Yup that's right, "Cinnamon Life and everything nice, that is what these little girls are made of."  I go through about a box every two days!!!! It really is absurd! But don't get me wrong I am still fitting in protein, and I can NOT eat enough Granny Smith Apples in a day! So here we are at 27 1/2 weeks last week:

It really does freak me out a bit to think that I still have 6 weeks to go, and there are days that I am just REALLY ready, but I know I can't be.   I know that I need to finish strong, I just don't understand HOW my body is going to stretch even further and how I will even move as the weeks go on.  When those thoughts creep up which is often these days, I stop myself and ask God to just continue to sustain my body and these 3 girls, as only he can.  My sweet husband encourages me that I need to "finish strong" as he once did before we had kids and we would go jogging together..... It always got under my skin and I would usually scream something nasty back at him in between gasping for air as I was jogging to "STOP encouraging me, I HATE this, I'm miserable and walking back home!"  I am trying to have a little bit of a better attitude as he cheers me on to the finish line this time....but I don't think the extra hormones are helping the situation much. :)  But then I look at these sweet pictures that you see below, and I realize it is not about me this time... It is about these 3 little souls and I will fight to finish strong, to keep them in as long as possible, to keep them as safe as possible.  Here are our girls, I can't wait to kiss those cheeks!!! 

Baby A 

Baby B (who would not stop yawning and rubbing her eyes during the ulrasound :) 

Baby C (oh that little arm and fingers!!!) 

So with 6 more weeks to go, we are soaking in every minute that we can as a family of 3, and really trying to slow the busyness of life down.  Our church recently merged with another church and we are not sure where our family will land once the girls arrive and we are ready to get back into a church home, but for now we are enjoying the time that Tigh has home with us on Sunday morning instead of drumming.  This was our "church" this morning (below).... we had a fire left over from the night before, sat outside and enjoyed watching Gray run around with the dogs as we drank coffee and I sat in a chair feeling these babies kick.  We counted our blessings, and I am just overwhelmed with thankfulness that as hard as this is, this is my life God has given me.  I can't believe I get to walk it alongside the man God gave me, and that I get to be Gray's mom and these 3 girls mom... 

And finally, Gray has already started taking on the role of BIG brother.  He will go into the girls room and swing a stuffed animal in one of the baby swings and act like he is giving it a paci (we have some work to do, to slow the speed in which he likes to swing it and say "WEEEEE!!" but we have some time to work on that).    The other day as I was laying on the couch, he came to join me and rested his head on my belly to give his "sissies" a hug..... "oh my sweet child, how I LOVE YOU & YOUR HEART!!!!! More than you will EVER know!"  I wish he could stay this age FOREVER!!!