About 6 weeks ago Tigh and I found out that we were expecting. We were about 3 weeks pregnant... I know of very few people who find out they are pregnant at three weeks, but I was feeling really sick and decided to take a test. It was positive. We were excited and having had a child already my momma brain had forgotten the process.....I called the dr to schedule our first ultrasound and they said we had to wait 5 weeks until I was about 8 weeks along.
So 5 weeks and waiting.... in those 5 weeks I have never felt so sick. I called many of my friends who are also expecting their second child... asking them if they are as sick as I am was. They all said no, and "maybe it's a girl, cause you're so sick." Well I just thought to myself if this child is a girl, it is one fierce child and it is going to come into this world with a vengeance! Then I started asking friends are you already showing??? "No not much, but maybe you are showing because it's your second and you pop out faster..." I quickly went to the store and bought some oversized shirts because I thought people would start talking if they saw how far my belly was already sticking out.
Twins runs on my grandfather's side of the family, and I began having this crazy thought that I may be pregnant with twins!!! I started Googling "how to know if you are expecting twins before an ultrasound." Tigh thought I was nuts, and said I was going to drive myself insane if I continued to pry for this answer.
8 weeks FINALLY arrived, and it was Monday morning. My mom came over to watch Gray. I stumbled around to get myself upright and dressed to go to the dr. Since I had been horizontal on the couch all the weeks beforehand. We got to the Dr. and went into the ultrasound room. Angie, the ultrasound tech who also did all of Grayson's ultrasound began doing her job. As I looked at the screen I saw what I thought were two sacs....In my head I thought "OMGoodness it is twins, this all makes sense." After a few minutes...that seemed like hours, Angie finally spoke and said...."Well, Y'all are expecting TRIPLETS!!!!"
Are you ready for it.... Here is what everyone asks us----- "WHAT DID YOU DO IN THAT MOMENT!?!?!?!" I so wish I could answer that questions and say I handled it with so much grace, and I was so brave....but that would be so far from the truth. I began balling my eyes out, covered my eyes and said "NO" about 8,00 times.. followed by "No I can't do this, No I don't want to do this, No we can't afford this, how could God think that we could handle this?" Tigh being the champ that he is, chuckled and said "Well God sure does have a sense of humor, and I am going to work my butt off, we are going to do this." Praise God for giving me such an amazing man to walk this journey with. He is such a rock and I am beyond blessed to call him mine.
Through my hysteria Angie finished the ultrasound and shared with us the 3 strong heartbeats. I couldn't calm myself down long enough to really listen and allow such a precious sound to really penetrate my ears. Angie left the room and told us she would give us a few minutes so I could get collected. About 15 minutes later, we reappeared. We went and sat in the waiting room in complete and utter shock and disbelief. We both just stared at the wall until our name was called to see the dr. Once we were in the room waiting for the dr. we called our moms. I was still in complete tears and after sharing the news with both my mom and mother in law, I begged..... I begged them to promise to help us, I begged them to promise that we didn't have to do this alone..... They both responded with such comfort that we were going to walk this road together as a family and that brought me some peace.
Dr. R came in and through my tears I asked him my first question..."Does this really happen to people?" His response...."Yes, and you, me, Tigh and God are going to get you through this!" We discussed all the details. And much to my surprise he explained to us that we did in fact get pregnant with twins and one egg divided making Triplets. We will have a set of Identicals and then a Singleton (fraternal twin)! (I can say now that that is very exciting to me, it wasn't at the time of first being told.)
I sit here today exactly a week after finding out and my heart couldn't be happier. I believe I have experienced every emotion known to man in the past week. I have asked God so many questions as to why he chose me to bring three of his children into this world at once. My eyes were quickly open to the fact that about 2 months ago I began feverishly listening to this song called "Oceans" by Hillsong and I prayed this prayer about 30 times....
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
My fears, my doubts, my disbelief were quietly hushed by an overwhelming sense of God telling me, "you asked me to take you deeper, you asked me to make your faith in me stronger, you asked me to lead you beyond your own trust....." and here we are. In the past week I have experienced God's complete control over this, and have felt a closeness to him like no other. I have NO idea what this road is going to be like. I know there are probably going to be extreme highs and extreme lows. I also know that I have made the choice to be strong and brave for these babies, and that I am going to do everything I can for them. God has shown us an abundance of Grace this past week through the community of family and friends that he has surrounded us with. My heart is so full to the brim of thanksgiving for the people who have stepped up and said, "We support you guys, we love you guys, we are praying, we are here, you do not need to walk through this alone." Because of God's grace and all of our friends and family, we know that we can get through whatever may be ahead. We are beyond excited for this journey. I have said it before and I will say it again we know it is going to be BEAUTIFULLY CHAOTIC! We are ready to hang on for dear life and enjoy the ride!
Here's to The Holmstrom Family.....Party of SIX!!!!!!